Minutes of the meeting: Homily for a clergy gathering

Exodus 33

7 Now Moses used to take the tent and pitch it outside the camp, far off from the camp; he called it the tent of meeting. And everyone who sought the Lord would go out to the tent of meeting, which was outside the camp. 8 Whenever Moses went out to the tent, all the people would rise and stand, each of them, at the entrance of their tents and watch Moses until he had gone into the tent. 9 When Moses entered the tent, the pillar of cloud would descend and stand at the entrance of the tent, and the Lord would speak with Moses. 10 When all the people saw the pillar of cloud standing at the entrance of the tent, all the people would rise and bow down, all of them, at the entrance of their tent. 11 Thus the Lord used to speak to Moses face to face, as one speaks to a friend. Then he would return to the camp; but his young assistant, Joshua son of Nun, would not leave the tent.

I'd like to invite you into the kitchen. When I was studying  at Howard Divinity School, Professor Kortright  Davis  used to remind our seminars that we were having conversations in the kitchen, not for an audience, but just talking in the kitchen with our collars unbuttoned and the tabs flapping, talking honestly about what  ministry is about and trying to make sense of it all. I'd like to invite you into the kitchen.

Here in the kitchen, I want to share with you a dream I had last  Saturday night.  It was an anxiety dream, of course. It is not unusual for me to have anxiety dreams on Saturday nights, but this one was especially disturbing.

I was in a large rustic auditorium, or it may have been an immense cave. At the front of the auditorium was a pile of boulders, very large rocks, which were the source of the heat for the hall. I stood on one of the boulders.  People were beginning to enter the auditorium/cave.

We were dressed in rustic clothes, and our hair was shoulder length. At first I thought we  were native Americans; then, I thought, maybe we were Israelites from the time of Issac and Jacob.

Standing in front of me on a taller boulder was an elder. He had an aura. He may have  divine. He said to me that, as soon as we were ready to begin, he would call on me to read the minutes of the meeting.

I had no minutes. So I ran from the hall and began searching the huts in the village, every hut but my own, looking for minutes of the meeting. I found papers, but no minutes.

Suddenly it occurred to me that I may have never written down the minutes. I may have never written the minutes, and it was too late to write them now.

A feeling of disappointment with myself flooded me. I felt hopelessly incompetent. I was filled with despair.  I was resigned to self-defeat. It was an awful feeling.  I was relieved to wake up.

So, I want to suggest this morning that this is what we do. This is our job. We read the minutes of the meeting. This is what preachers do. This is what preaching is. We read the minutes of the meeting.

This is what the Bible is -- minutes of the meetings ... minutes of the divine-human meetings. The meetings are perfect and inerrant. The minutes are human and fallible. The  minutes are as influenced by human misunderstanding, human missing of the point, human focusing on the wrong thing as all minutes are. But the minutes are precious because they are what we have of the meetings.

I understand all too well what my dream last Saturday night was about. It has been a while since I've been to a meeting. Sunday mornings I've been going into the pulpit with no minutes of the meeting.

Oh, I know how to fake it. I've been doing this a long time. I have old stories I can tell, old illustrations I can reuse, interesting ideas to talk about.  But my preaching, really, has been pretty shallow lately, because I haven't  been going to the meetings. 

When I was in seminary years ago in Boston there was a preacher in one of the big churches there whom  students at the seminary used to call Dr. Tickle-text, because --they'd say-- he took the great texts of Scripture, stood in the pulpit, and tickled them for a few minutes, and then sat down. Dr. Tickle-text.

After someone had heard him preach on one of the great texts of Scripture, the person said about the sermon: "Never have I seen so small a rabbit pulled out of so large a hat." Dr. Tickle-text.

This is what my preaching is like lately. I haven't been going to the meetings.

When the Israelites were in the wilderness, when they made camp, Moses would pitch a tent outside the camp. He called it the tent of meeting. He would go there to meet God.

I've been reading about the tent of meeting this week.  I was surprised to discover that the tent of meeting and the tabernacle were the same thing. J and D called it a tabernacle. P and E called it a tent of meeting.  The Yahwist, who believed in an individualistic jealous God, called it a tabernacle. The Yahwist and the Deuteronomist thought it was about a gathering. The priests and Elohists, who believed in something like a triune God, knew the tent was about a meeting.

I've been been avoinding the meetings. I know how to avoid them: 1) Drive to church instead of walking. Find a reason I need to take the car rather than walk. A meeting is too likely to happen when I am walking.  2) Let my desk get messy. I can always miss a meeting because I need to push papers around my desk. 3) Turn on the TV as soon as I walk in the door at the end of a day, even if the only thing on it to watch is the 70s Show.

I know how to avoid a meeting.

I avoid meetings for a couple reasons.  I angry at God right now.  There are things I need to do as a pastor right now that I am angry about having to do. I am angry. I'll show God. I wouldn't come to the meetings.

The other reason I have been skipping the meetings is because I don't want to do what I have to do, or be what I have to be. When I am in  the presence of God --God doesn't even have to talk to me-- in the presence of God I know what I have to do and who I have to be. So I avoid knowing what I have to do and who have to be by not going to the meetings.

Then Sunday morning I have no minutes of the meeting to read. I have to fake it.  Pull out some old stories, old illustrations, warmed over stuff. Phone it in. Dr. Tickle-text. Pull out a small rabbit out of a big hat.

No meeting, no minutes.

I have been here before, so I am hopeful. There have been other times in my life and ministry when I have been angry and alienated from God. When I have finally drug myself to the tent of meeting, God has always been there.  God has been patient. God has been willing to meet me at the tent of meeting.

And our people are patient. They stand outside their tents in the wilderness, and watch to see if we are going out to the tent of meeting ... watching to see if the pillar of cloud will descend on us. They watch to see: Will we  stand in our pulpits and share our interesting thoughts and opinions and good ideas or will be bring minutes of the meeting?

They know. They can tell. They will tolerate our ideas and stories, but what they are waiting for is minutes of the meeting.

But to have minutes we have to go to the meeting. We have to give up our anger. We have to sit face-to-face in the presence of the divine whose very presence calls us to do what we don't want to do and to be who we don't want to be.

To have minutes of the meeting we have to pitch the tent of meeting out side the camp, and we need to make our way to the tent of meeting. No meeting, no minutes. 

Comments

[Roger Ball]

It is refreshing to read that we still have ministers who believe God still interacts with us today--even through dreams! I needed this because it has been a long time since I have been to the meeting. I shall pay greater attention to my dreams from now on.

[Joe]

I really connected. Thank you for inviting me into your kitchen this morning.

[Nancy Smith]

Awesome!

[Wayne]

Dean,
Thanks for the wakeup call...and the time around the table. May we all strive to be in the meeting and faithfully report the minutes to our congregations.

Wayne

[Teofilo Leben]

Thank you for your candor and your sincerity.

I find it interesting too that (in your dream) you searched every hut but your own. As if even returning to your true self would have led you to the meeting. Also that you left the Divine presence to look for records of a previous meeting.

You made me realize this morning that sometimes in spite of strenuous efforts to do the right thing, sometimes I am running *away* from God. It is so much easier for me to think that I don't know how to find 'the meeting', but deep down I am not ready or I am afraid to meet with Him.

Thank you for your humility - it has humbled me to remember that although I am sometimes tired from searching - God is never hiding.

Thank you again for sharing your minutes :-)
Teofilo

[Dean Snyder]

Teofilo

I find it interesting too that (in your dream) you searched every hut but your own. As if even returning to your true self would have led you to the meeting. Also that you left the Divine presence to look for records of a previous meeting.

You are exactly right. Every hut but my own!!!
Dean